Embracing My Grievance

By Lana Carolan

A Course in Miracles over the years has been my spiritual school and Jesus has been my teacher. Jesus/Holy Spirit are one and the same to me. They represent the part of my mind that is still in communication with God, my right-mindedness.

Jesus countless times and in countless ways has taught me who I am and who I am not. He has taught me how to discern between my true self from the made-up ego identity. He speaks to me and points my mind back to truth whenever it takes a wrong turn. He heals my mind and returns me to peace whenever I ask.

I really don’t know what else he could possibly teach me to convince me that “I am as God Created me.” The goal now becomes acceptance. No more learning is needed, no more teaching is necessary. Only acceptance.

This brings me to a recent message I received from Jesus. It was about a couple of weeks ago that I was carrying around a grievance about someone. It was not major or earth-shattering but it was disrupting my peace and I regretted having it. I knew it had to be healed. So I brought it to Jesus and asked the only question I seem to ask these days about anything: “What is the Truth of this?”

Here is his response which entered my mind a short time later:

Can you accept, even embrace your grievance with Love, absent of the guilt for having it? Do you see your innocence, even as you experience a grievance toward your brother? The pure Love and innocence of your open heart will heal the grievance. Guilt will hold it in place. See your own innocence and you will see your brother’s innocence as well, and both the grievance and the guilt will disappear.

The moment I “remembered” my innocence, just as Jesus said, the grievance and my guilt disappeared and I returned to peace. The “present memory” of my innocence also revealed the Love of God and anything Love touches is naturally healed. Jesus has a way of cutting right through the garbage of the ego and redirecting my mind to Truth. Jesus reminded me that my innocence never leaves me, but my guilt does conceal it. My innocence is as eternal as God and stays intact no matter how my ego may hide it from me.

When I remember my Truth, healing naturally occurs.

I find A Course of Love to be really helpful in this “acceptance” process. That is, accepting my innocence, no matter what. Accepting “I am as God Created me” no matter what the ego may be showing me. Accepting the Truth that I am the Christ. Accepting that I am the same Christ-consciousness that was Jesus as he walked the Earth as one of us, even while still in form.

There is a section in ACOL (D:1.14) that I hold as a Proclamation of Truth, my Truth, your Truth, our ONE Truth in unity with God. The first time I read it, it sang to my heart and soul. I recognized its Truth and I embraced it wholeheartedly. But you know how it goes—out of sight, out of mind. So I read it often and my “present” memory returns as I affirm my Truth as God created me. It has an opening paragraph that adds a bit of context that I find helpful, so I include it below.

Open your heart, for the one who dwells there in union with all will emerge from this opening. What was once a tiny pinprick of light becomes a beacon as you open your heart and allow your true identity to be what is, even within your form. You are in grace and union with the Source and Cause of unity. Be no longer causeless. You and your Source are one.

I am no longer the personal self who was separate and alone.
I am my Christ Self.
I dwell in unity.
My identity is certain.
This is the truth.

I am not less than I once was, but more.
Where once I was empty, I now am full.
Where once I dwelt in darkness
I now dwell in the light.
Where once I had forgotten
Now I remember who I Am.

Now I go forth
To live as who I Am within the world
To make cause and effect as one, and
Union with the Source of love and all creation the reality.

This I proclaim to God, to you, and most of all to myself, my Christ Self. It is my call to awaken and to be who I am and was created to be. The call—acceptance—can only come from me to me.

You could say that acceptance is the final surrender of the ego. When Jesus spoke just before taking his last breath on the cross, “It is finished,” he surrendered the ego for ALL of us and in so doing simultaneously accepted the Truth for us as well. What never was, is no more. Let us rejoice and be glad. 

Lana Carolan has been a student of ACIM for about 40 years and, more recently, of ACOL. She says: “I’ve found that their application and integration into my everyday life has afforded me a state of consistent peace. I mentor many students and it has been through them that I have come to recognize that giving and receiving are truly one. I am in the process of writing a book of essays that will share my experiences with ACIM and ACOL. I feel so very blessed and am overflowing with gratitude.” Lana can be reached via Facebook or email, lcarolan49@gmail.com.