The mind goes from the small to the large, the heart from the large to the small. Only the wholehearted see the connection of all. C:23.12
It’s 5:52 in the cabin. The sun’s imminent rising is visible as a streak of light-infused coral. The frogs or crickets hum in their chirpy way. 5:55 I sit up. Look out again. There’s a fiery quality beginning to build. At 6:02 the sky has faded into cloudy, cotton ball forms in baby blues and pinks. What can happen in ten minutes!
There are things that have arisen in me as sweetnesses of the heart lately. The latest was the Door’s song that goes like this: Hello. I love you. Won’t you tell me your name? These lyrics were running through my mind this morning when I suddenly realized they were like the perfect greeting for God.
The first was perhaps my new love affair with my percolator. It’s an old thing, given me by daughter Angela, purchased in a second-hand store, or perhaps at a garage sale. It’s been a constant in the cabin for a while now, but some months ago, one prong of the cord broke off in the outlet. I thought I could get by without the old girl, but truth be told, nothing I tried to have hot coffee in the cabin worked. So I finally examined the pot for information so that I could order a new cord. Although I’d been using it for years, and knew it was a Farberware pot, I had not known it was the “Superfast” model. Since ordering and receiving my new cord, I have noticed how fast it is, and just adore hearing its perking once again, and the always hot coffee it provides. I felt so grateful for it, but the tempo of my gratefulness felt sweet. Thus it began.
The next in this series of sweetnesses came from a long-time reader of ACOL, my friend in Canada, Roger. He noticed my lamp in the photo I began to use to show A Course of Love early in July. I first posted it in a blog in which I spoke of another friend—Ivor’s—passing. It was as though suddenly, the “stock” photo of A Course of Love was not appropriate. Everything in me was too tender to include an impersonal image.
Roger responded with his photo of his lamp and his (blue book) copy of A Course of Love. Thus began our conversation, but one that wasn’t only about the lamp, although I loved it having begun in that way. It felt like a sweetness that Roger noticed the lamp in my photo and was moved to share his. In response, I handled my lamp in a way I hadn’t in years. Turning it over, I found a patent number and shared this with Roger, along with the rather unfortunate news that this was not an heirloom with an interesting history. I’d bought it at an antique store. Roger, in turn, shared that his lamp bore the name “Eagle,” and that it did have a history. It belonged to his father, a lamp he remembered from his young boyhood, and decided to keep when the family home was sold. Until seeing my photo, he’d never seen another like it and said it was even more funny that it was used to light up our same readings. He signed off with, Cheers from Boisbriand, and I fell in love with the sound of Boisbriand, the muted and romantic image of his book and lamp, of the “lighting up” of our shared readings, and Roger himself. When I asked if I could share his photo he replied:
To share freely all we have received, is the Principle that rule the Life, and mine too.
Then I heard from another friend and reader of ACOL, Ben, who was “stopped” in that awe-struck way by Day 39 of The Dialogues and made a representation of a passage of it that he calls “The Bridge.” I couldn’t download it, but I took a screen image just to be able to share and emphasize the joy I felt in receiving it; in receiving a “creation” made of such a moment of impact.
The third “sweetness” came of noticing the shape of my grandson’s arms when I reviewed photos from our excursion to an animal farm. Suddenly, in these photos, (despite his skinniness) I could see the arms of a “man” beginning to develop.
The heart goes from the large to the small.
I’m in awe of the tenderizing of the heart that goes on as this movement from the large to the small takes place. The large is perhaps our grand awakening to all that we are. The small is the daily ways we encounter those things that touch our hearts. I need not discard these things as “small” (as in trivial or unimportant or sentimental), and surely not as a backwards movement. It is the way of the heart. Part of the movement to sanctifying all of life. Each of us can invite the “small” and hold it gently. It is cradling a wounded bird (as happened this morning as one slammed herself into my window), and it is the sun’s rising. It is what can happen in ten minutes. Another movement along the heart’s path.
The awe of Day 39 of The Dialogues, the splendor of the sun and of young arms forming muscle, of the pleasure of a percolator and a lamp, are the sharing of the small and the large that join on the path of the heart. It is revelation of the immense Heart holding it all, including all the sweetness of our own human hearts, that join us together in wholeheartedness.
Dear Laura, It seems impossible that you would need encouragement to write. Your description of the sunset and appreciation of the grocery clerk were beautiful, and yes, appreciation much like what I’m experiencing today . . . of the small. I love the sense I get from ACOL of going out into the great beyond of the heart-full and united field, and then . . . coming back.
And living here, and there.
Mari, this is so sensitive and lovely— the sweetness of your grandson’s arms, the coffee pot, all those small gifts tiptoeing around in our lives in a steady stream of graciousness noticed by the attentive heart. Thank you for this post.
For me, sometimes the small is so tender it tenderizes my heart with sudden tears. This has been the summer of the small for me in a certain way, small arresting bugs, patient spiders, small emerald frogs, whispering leaves in a summer breeze, day lilies with their splendor bursting forth and lasting only a day. All the small moments of breath holding praise washing over me unexpectedly. There are also the small moments of insight as I read ACOL for the 4th time.
Huge shifts have been gathering steam this past year and are coming to fruition in my life physically and spiritually now. There’s my move to permanently living in FL. Letting go of family and friends, of a home I love, of nature as manifested along Lake Michigan. Also the Course has been a huge shift for me these past 9 months, setting my life in a new direction as I let go of fears and old bitterness and sabotaging patterns, making room for the new as Jesus suggests. I relish the aha moments that keep tumbling out of the pages of ACOL with increasing clarity and joy. They just keep coming and feeding my soul.
Insight— came just this moment— maybe that’s why the tiny, the easily ignored, the sweet small is so important to me right now. Not only in nature, but in sorting my books and giving them away, in going through files and papers and letting go, in thanking my couch, my bed, my porch glider (I sold the house furnished) my pans and dishes, in loving them all one last time. Yes, releasing it all, loving it all, brings me to tears (tears are small too!). I don’t know what I’m saying, I feel I’m just rambling so I’ll say thank you for this post.
Dearest Paula, It seems we’re coming to a realization about the “small” together. You have been one of those who has helped me find my way, and I’m so appreciative. In the quiet, when it comes, it all begins to form into a different picture. And then through acceptance of loving what I love, I feel like “me” again. Funny how the clouds obscure even the awareness that I’m away from myself at times.
Now there is, they say, a storm on the way. All the birds in the yard seem quite frantic, as if they’re hopping about industriously. I put the poor bird that flew into the window in a box, hoping she was only stunned and would recover. She grew quiet quickly and I put her back out in the woods, amidst all the activity. The other day Henry and his buddy saw a mouse in our hallway. I got a Tupperware container and scooped the little fellow up, closed the lid and asked them to take it out in the woods. Coming back in, they told me that they’d put it out in the weeds so it would not get eaten. I loved my life so much in that moment! As I love the darting woodpeckers and yellow finches in this one. Loving the small.
It’s been a dreamy day of appreciation. You are now included in that feeling that seems to fill my whole being at this moment.
I love your tender descriptions of your percolator, the lamp, and especially your grandson’s arms. I am trying to write down these moments of tenderness (for instance, the young man at the grocery store who shared the sunset’s beauty with me briefly one evening.) Thank you for the encouragement of what you write.
I happened to pick up The Artist’s Way just now as I sat here thinking about grading student journals. Interesting how her words about creativity dovetail so well with your words and with the words of ACOL itself. It might be helpful to start writing the Morning Pages again…
Blessings and love,
Laura