cabin winter trees

As air carries sound, as a stream carries water, as a pregnant woman carries her child, this is how you are meant to carry what you have been given. What you have been given is meant to accompany you, propel you, and be supported by you. You are not separate from what you have been given, and you do carry what you have received within you. D:D.23.2


The Cabin  6:30 a.m.  Sky lightening from a deep indigo blue.

I haven’t been in the cabin since last Sunday. Nothing I can do now about the percolator, about having forgotten to empty it last week, and finding its contents frozen solid. I can live without hot coffee. I come as daily practice most of the year. I come, in these frozen months, to settle myself, to come back to myself. I am in transition. Transitions are strange times; both dissonant and weirdly calm; tiring and exhilarating. We are always in transition, I tell myself. This is life. I send blessings out to all who, along with me, feel themselves to be in a “major” transition. There’s no sense, is there, in denying the feelings of such times?

The trees are absolutely still. I notice. Noticing helps. There is “Sunday morning quiet.” That helps. Bringing my attention back to where I am, to “presence,” as they say, to “what is,” maybe not so much “with myself” and “me” as simply, fully . . . present.  I expand, get spacious, and at the same time, shrink a little in importance. My small life is not so present. That is what I need.

I have A Course of Love sitting here and pick it up. Once, twice, three times. I am reading from The Dialogues, Days 10 and 11. I read and sit stunned in the silence of its brilliance. Amazed, as always, that this came through me. Amazed that I forget. Amazed that there may be some truth to not being able to hold or grasp this wisdom as information, as learning, even as words readily recalled. I remember what is said a little further on though, in Day 23, and thumb my way there, where I find words I’m looking for, and knew where to find, but didn’t exactly remember. They are as true as any I could speak to what my experience has been since this Course came: “This is a surrender to the forces that move inside of you.” They are good words for transition too. Maybe for the constant transition that this Course makes us aware of.

These words, and those at the top of this page, were spoken directly to me. They are spoken directly to each one who lets them in, who lets them live in them. Once again I trust that what they say is true. I carry what was received within me even when I don’t feel as if I do, when I must continuously come back to trusting in myself—just what Jesus says in Chapter 10, knowing the heart will call. “Come back, come back it will say it to you. Come home, come home it will sing.”

I am not so much “ready” as I am constantly being made ready by the forces that move inside of me—and around me too—in the voices of the many. Each of us are readied constantly to carry the freedom and the power that this work has given to us—through love. We’re never so far away that we can’t “Come back” to who we truly are, and to who we are newly.